day #16 something BIG, good or bad.

I know.

I should start cleaning. I see a pile of clothes all dumped in one corner and some strewn in my bed. Pieces of paper just scattered on the floor. Anyone who enters my room will automatically sum me up as slob. Well, yeah, I am slob, a self-confessed-I-don’t-care-where-this-goes-slob.But, when I get cleaning, I’m serious and take it into heart (beware!).

So, before I start with the heavy duty cleaning, I’m taking time off to blog.

So what shall I criticize, rant,talk,reflect on today eh?

well I was thinking about gestures earlier today how we wait for the big thing, that moment that would define the word happiness. Tell me I’m not the only waiting for such great things to happen. But you know what? Something in my head tells me it’s already happening, the litlle things I tend to overlook which amounts to something BIG. I don’t know, but I keep telling myself,"no, it’s different, it should a one-time, big-time experience." So anyway, there goes grand gestures.

so i've Been trying to read Murakami’s Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. It’s an interesting and thought-provoking read but it’s too-word heavy! But love it nonetheless. And as you see, Murakami always provoking me. starting with a provoking thought is always the most difficult thing to do it with love, friendship, work, everything, the middle is where the heart of it all lies, ending is the most bittersweet.

so yeah, that leads me to the question: do I have another thing to start? start to realize what this and that really means? when I do start to be satisfied with who I am and what I have? when do I start to end this searching for where to start?

Wow, what a mess. hehehe

That’s me. Complicated and such a mess. But I love me nonetheless!